There I was, standing before the couple who was about to pledge their eternal love and commitment to each other. They were standing there looking lovingly into each other eyes, excited for the most important day of their lives.
I stood there. Motionless. Fully aware of the 100+ guests who were intently looking at me waiting for me to start the ceremony.
I stammered. I locked up. I was scared and didn't know what to say. I reached for my handy "Ministers Service Manual Edition 2" and it wasn't there. I had forgot the book that gives me the lines for the wedding.
My heart sunk. I had never done this before. I didn't know what to do. I depended on that book to give me the lines. My heart raced, I scrolled through my mind for what I could remember. I could remember that there were some "I dos" and some "til death do us parts" but that was about it.
I was failing miserably. I knew it. It was the worst feeling in the world.
And then I woke up. It was all a dream. True story. That was the dream I had last night. It was one of those dreams that is so real that you wake up and it feels like it happened. I can't begin to tell you how relieved I was when I woke up and it was just a dream. I can't imagine what it would be like if that actually happened. Utterly devastating is probably what it would be like I'm sure.
Now I'm not going to go into some self revelating psychoanalysis of my dream on this blog. We can leave that to Freud. What I can say is this- whether in a dream or in real life, I think its natural to have some level of anxiety about doing well at something. Even more so if someone is depending on you. I think we all want to do well. Its part of who we are.
But here's the caveat to that- we can't spend our lives trying to impress or receive validation from other people. It can be completely damaging to who we are if we are constantly trying to impress people. Being a performance driven individual who cares too much what other people think can ruin you.
Its good to want to do well. Its bad to live for the praise of someone else.
I like what the Bible has to say about performance- 2 Corinthians 5:9 "So we make it our goal to please him, whether we are at home in the body or away from it". When we spend the bulk of our time trying to please God in what we say and do, we end up being a lot happier. Less stress. More contentment.
God loves you and wants you to do well. You win every time you put your faith in Him to help you do well. Don't worry so much about doing well for others. Make it your goal to please Him.
Oh, and don't forget the book if you're doing a wedding.