My mother has infected me with this notion that its better to need it and have it than to not need it and have it. Its pervasive in my life. I'm constantly fighting it. Often I keep things past their usefulness and have a bunch of stuff that I keep thinking that I will need it one day, when I never do.
This passes into my professional life at church also. Sometimes I keep things far longer than I should. This last Sunday, before church I was cleaning up, tossing things out, cleaning up and I found a bag of magnets in a drawer.
Magnets? What are these things for? They were powerful magnets, but were just in a plastic bag, in this drawer, with a bunch of other equipment. The labels on the magnets said to keep away from electronic components and other media, so I walked around and asked a few people if they knew what they were, and what they were for, and no one knew.
Now people lovingly give things to the church all the time that they think we'll need, and I thought that maybe this was such a time. I thought about it for a minute, and then I threw them away.
What do we need a bunch of magnets for?
So last night I'm sitting with this gal from church and she says "Oh, I got these great magnets we can use to hang stuff from the drop ceilings- they are amazing- they can hold like 25 lbs".
My stomach sank.
"How much did they cost?" I asked sheepishly.
"oh, about 100 dollars" she replied.
Right then and there, I really really wanted to lie. I wanted to tell her that was great, not say a thing about the magnets and hope she never found out what I did, but I didn't. I told her I threw them away.
Obviously she wasn't pleased. But I thought that maybe they were still in the just removed trash, so her and another guy from church went out to the dumpster to go through the bag to find them, but to no avail.
Good ol' Pastor Matt in his attempt to overcome his inability to throw away things threw away something that was valuable! That someone else needed! ( I know my Mom is going to bring this up to me in the future- grrrr). I felt horrible. I could hear my mother's voice in my head!
Here's the deal- we all have things that we try to overcome, things we try to change, and sometimes when we do it, we fail miserably. But that shouldn't keep us from trying should it? If we stop our attempts to change, because they are marred by defeat and setbacks, we'll never get to where we want to be.
Even though I tossed a hundred dollar bag of magnets- I'm still going to learn to get rid of things.
Be encouraged with that today. Maybe you're a bit like me, that when you try to change, it comes back and bites you, and then you feel like not trying again. Don't do that. Don't give up. A set back is just a set up for a come back. You can change. You can improve. You can get to where you want to be.
You're not alone- not only do I share with setbacks, but the Lord of the universe is with you also, helping you along the way. Rest in that today. Keep trying to change.