Yesterday was pretty emotional for me. I usually don't let things get to me, but yesterday they did. I think it was a good thing that I was upset, but it still wasn't fun. My friend Michael said to me " You feel helpless, don't you? and I know you don't like feeling that way". He's totally right. I don't like feeling helpless. Honestly, I pride myself on being able to help. I put my cape on and save the day. Its what I do. Some people call it a "superman complex". I'm not saying its right, its just the truth.
The cape didn't really work today, or at least it hasn't fully worked. Apparently I'm going to have to bow my pride and supplicate to a higher power on this one, because I did what I could do, and it doesn't feel like it was enough. I hate feeling this way, but I know that I need to trust God on this one. Its the only route I've got.
We had a family visit our church this Sunday for the first time. Nice family. Husband, wife, and two kids. They came in, and were active participants in the worship service, the kids took part in Sunday school, it was great. We love new visitors and were excited that they came to church. Afterwards, they inquired about Bible Study on Tuesday and his wife decided that she would come.
At Bible study, Crystal found out that the wife and kids were new to the area and had only been in Auburn since September first, so she asked them if they needed anything.
They needed everything. They have nothing. No car. Hardly any clothes, no furniture except beds, one pot in the kitchen and a some plates. Crystal asked if we could come by their apartment after Bible study, and we saw the place. Its nice and clean, but a 500 sq. ft. apt for a family of four isn't very big. And it was true, they had next to nothing. The fridge had ketchup and Sunny d and that was it.
Bless God, our church was in a financial position to bless them this month. It doesn't always happen that way, but this month it did. We were able to go today and fill their pantry, buy some stuff and get them set up. We took it to them and I can't describe how excited they were to get all the food and other items we got for them. When she saw the dish soap she was glad that she could finally wash what little dishes they had!
I wish I could describe how I felt the rest of the day, but I can't. Ashamed for what I have. Ungrateful for not appreciating what I have. Shameful for worrying about stuff that doesn't matter. Upset because my kids don't realize how good they have it. It was a big ol ball of emotion.
This family is from the Sudan. The dad has one leg and is on crutches because the other one was shot off when he wouldn't deny his Christian faith to the men who pulled him out of his home in the middle of a war. He has been here for 3 years working to bring his family, they are finally here, and his job is only able to give him 20 hours a week. He brought home 850 dollars last month, is borrowing a friends car, and wont be able to use it after November 1st.
Denied state assistance, denied financial support, denied any help. I want to help, but don't know exactly how to help. I want to help him navigate through the programs and systems, but I just don't know how. I'm a college educated man with control of the English language. I can't imagine what it must be like for a man from the Sudan who speaks broken English.
What's the point of the blog? Keeping it real. Keeping it honest. I don't know what the action point is, but if you've got any ideas, cars,couches, tables or clothes, I'd be interested in talking.
Here's a take away- have some perspective today. Most of the stuff we complain about is a bunch of crap that doesn't matter. I complain about my grass that doesn't grow in my sprawling 1700 sq ft. 1970s split level. I am concerned about the dog hair on my suit and running out of creamer for my coffee.
Get a grip Matt, seriously.
Be blessed
pastor matt
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