I've been working on a project in my garage for the past week or so, I've been trying to add some new circuitry. If you read yesterdays blog, you heard about the 60 amp breaker talking to me, somehow, those wires keep a talkin' to me!
Yesterday was no different. I had some time in the middle of the day yesterday that I had set aside to do another small part of the wiring project. In my calculation, it would only take me about 30-45 minutes to do what I wanted to do, so about noon, I decided to get in there and work on it.
With good Matt fashion, the project went wrong, I got nothing accomplished when I thought it would and I became very frustrated.
Very frustrated. I don't know why this seems to be a common theme in my life, but whenever I try to do a project it always goes wrong, and takes much longer than I anticipated, and then I get very angry. Livid would probably be a better word to describe me at those times. When things happen in my life when I feel like I'm wasting my time, or my time is being lost, I get completely beside myself. I can't stand it.
I don't know what it is, but I value my time. Its one of the things I value most. There are one thousand four hundred and forty minutes in one day, and I like to use each and every one of them in the way I think they should be used. I don't like to wait. I don't like to do fruitless things. I don't like to spend time doing something on a project that accomplishes absolutely nothing.
I do not like to waste my time.
Is it really my time though? I think it was the great philosopher Spicoli who said "If I'm here, and you're here, doesn't that make it 'our' time?" Now, Spicoli was talking about classroom time with his teacher Mr. Hand, but I think it applies in this sense also. For me, because I am a person who has decided to follow Jesus, my time is no longer my time. It truly is 'our' time. Meaning, Jesus and I's time.
Let me explain- God created me. God gave me breath. Jesus died for me, I live for Him. He wants to have all of me, not part of me. He wants to change me into his likeness and mold me into a new creation. He wants me to have the fruit of the Spirit and not the lusts of the flesh. Everything I have is His. I've relinquished my ownership. He owns it all. Including my time.
It doesn't feel like it all the time though. I have to constantly remind myself self of this truth. I realize that God doesn't take every moment of every day, but He is in every moment of every day. When I have a good day or a bad day He is there. When I am productive or destructive with my time, He is there. He owns the days, hours and minutes, the question is whether or not I will realize it and walk in it, or I will fight it all day long. If I will always think that it is MY time not OUR time.
God can and will use every moment to glorify Him if I will let Him. The issue is if I will realize what He can do with each of the minutes that I have, and then allow Him to help me grow. In moments like yesterday, to realize that God can use it to refine my character once again. To bring out the fruit of patience in my life in new measure to bring Him more glory.
Do you struggle with ownership of the things in your life? Do you constantly think of things as 'mine' and not 'ours'. None of it is yours. Its all His. Together it is 'ours'. Think about that today. Reflect on the struggles that you have with the things you have, and maybe you can realize that what you have is co-owned by the Creator.
It will change your perspective, and the way you view what you think you have.