As many of you know, my wife has been out of town for the past week or so visiting family in Texas, so I've been front and center for everything pertaining to the house since she's been gone. Including referee for the children.
We have two kids, and for some reason, my son, the older one, absolutely loves to torment his little sister. I do not know why, but he seems to really enjoy making her life miserable at times. I don't know if its a big sibling thing or what, but he loves to do it. Its as if he goes out of his way just to make sure that at some point during the day his sister can yell, scream, or cry.
It bothers me to no end. I can't stand people picking on people, so when it happens at our house, it doesn't last very long.
Yesterday my son was in rare form and was unleashing on his sister. So he and I were sitting down to one of our talks about what he did, why he did it, and why he shouldn't do it again. When we were done with our talk, I asked him what he should do, now that he knew he had hurt his sisters feelings.
He wouldn't look at me, and then, in a very garbled tone said 'i shubd uplgized'.
I can't hear you? What did you say? 'i should apologize' he said very very quietly.
I can't hear you son, what did you say? " I SHOULD APOLOGIZE" he said defiantly.
As we were sitting at the kitchen table, I asked why it was so hard for him to admit that he needed to apologize to his sister and why he should do it. He said, and I quote- "Dad, I don't know what it is, I know I need to apologize, I just don't like to do it"
Know anyone like that? I do. Quite a few in fact. I know a lot of people who don't like to apologize for anything, ever. It never their fault, its always someone else and they love to lay blame at the feet of everyone else.
Its annoying if you know someone like this, because for some reason they have the inability to see how what they do and say affects the other people around them. To them, it seems, everyone else is the one who got it wrong, not them. Even at the point of being shown the responsibility of their actions, they refuse to admit that they hurt someone, or did something wrong.
This should not be so. If you have done something either unintentionally, or intentionally to another person, you should apologize. Its the right thing to do. Its not the easy thing to do, but its the right thing. I think I know why its so hard for some people- pride. They don't want to be perceived as weak, or that someone else has the upper hand on them. They want to make sure that they are in control and that no one else is.
If you're like this, you should stop. Be the type of person that is quick to apologize and take responsibility for your actions and see how the world around you responds. People respect people who apologize. It endears them to the person. It shows one of the biggest aspects of humanity- our brokenness. That we are broken people who make mistakes and get it wrong. That we're not perfect and we don't always get it right. When we apologize, we affirm the other person, and let them know that we value them and care about their feelings.
Seems basic doesn't it? But you know as well as I do, that there are many people who have not moved past my 10 year old son, and still live like a child who doesn't want to apologize.
Don't be that type of person. Be the type that apologizes.
Be blessed
pastor matt
Apologies are cheap, its the pride hit that is expensive
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