We've all done it. Uttered the words "Always" "Never" and "Every time". Usually it manifests it self in arguments with a friend or your spouse. It sounds something like "You always do this" or "You'll never understand" or "Every time this happens". They're really bold words if you take a moment to think about them.
Do I always get mad? Do I never eat right? Do I fail every time? Of course not, none of us do, but for some reason the words that we choose to describe ourselves or others becomes, what I like to call "all or nothing thinking". Its dangerous. It tells people around us and ourselves that we are required to be perfect, when that's something that is truly unattainable. Of course we would like perfection from ourselves, or others, but the truth is its just not possible.
We all have bad days, or end up doing something we wish we wouldn't have done, either big or small. But when we choose to make harsh statements that include the words always-never-every it paints us into a very limited corner of perfection that none of us can get out of by ourselves.
I can't remember who said it, but I love that quote "I've figured out two things in this life- there is only one God, and I'm not Him". Now, this doesn't give us the right to hurt people, or choose to do wrong things, but what it can do is put our life into a little bit of perspective.
Give yourself and others around you a break. Realize that God has a plan for their life, and yours and know that when we use the words always-never-every with the people that we love we're not giving them the level of Grace that God extends to us.
Be blessed
matt
Very well said, another thing to consider, is how those words affect your loved ones. It's hard to hear your wrong or I am unhappy about this but when you add you always do this or you NEVER do that it's very damageing.
ReplyDeleteHey Matt,
ReplyDeleteIt's Torie, and this is just what I needed to hear today, thanks so much for your words of wisdom. I find myself doing this to my husband all the time, and it is not working for me. why do I do it? how do I stop it? The last thing I think I will do today, is hurt the one I love, but I do. Sometimes I think I do it, because he has done something that has hurt my feelings. I don't slow down long enough to ask, so I just ASSume it.
I want to thank you for your words, as God seems to put people in my life that help me, and I thank you. Torie
Father Cavanaugh from the film Rudy:
ReplyDelete"Son, in 35 years of religious study I have only come up with two hard incontrovertible facts: there is a God, and I'm not Him."
One of my favorite quotes of all time. Preach on preacher man.
-Fresh salsa
That's great Matt! We all need to watch what comes out of our mouths. It's amazing how we seem to want others to watch what they say to us, treat us with the utmost care and respect, but give out what we don't want from others. I believe that wrong words are the result of wrong thinking. We need to start thinking about what we're thinking about and know that what we meditate on the most will sooner or later come out of our mouths...Be blessed Matt,
ReplyDeleteGary Morse, Horseshoe Bay, Texas